Vincent Gallo's The Brown Bunny (2003)

Watched it. Loved it. Here are my favorite quotes from the Member Reviews on Netflix (all spelling and grammatical errors kept intact):

"Remember the joke - just because nobody understands you doesn't make you an artist. This film is not art - it is a vanity piece. Vincent Gallo almost seems to make fun of the audience, as if to say "people will see *anything* if you throw in a random, absurdly graphic oral copulation scene". If you want to see a great independent film, rent one. If you want to see hard-core porn, rent one. But don't fool yourself into watching this film because it's art. You are smarter than that."

"Anyone, even you or your 16 year-old nephew, can make a movie like this. Here's what you do: Get a camcorder and put it on the dashboard of your van. Drive around for an hour and a half. Cut. Take your camcorder and your ugly girlfriend into a motel room."

"The reviewers that loved this movie are right- this movie is Vincent Gallo's artistic statment. You know, ART. The kind of art you might find in some progressive museum that has pictures, or even better, live action of people taking a dump on the floor. If that's your idea of good art, then you will love this movie. If you enjoy this movie, you may also enjoy sitting in a dark closet for an hour and a half and looking around while you contemplate life...Unless you enjoy watching grass grow while you ponder the mysteries of the universe, this movie is NOT for you."

"My boyfriend and I watched this movie together and we laughed like maniacs the entire way through. Since watching it, either he or I will spontaneously pretend to be driving, then put our head in our hands and sob."

"If you like elongated scenes without content or dialogue and you like extreme close-ups of dirty peoples ears, hair, and skin, and you enjoy camera view obstructions then this is your movie. The first scene was extremely long and made me wonder if I had the correct disc in the DVD player. No words, just bad shots of a motorcycle race of some sort except most of the race was blocked out by the speedway walls which is not unlike the rest of the movie. The first words of the movie were not spoken until sometime in the 6th minute.I am not exaggerating when I tell you that most of this movie had some type of camera obstruction in it. From the speedway walls to the back or side of someone’s blurry head to bug splatters in the windshield of the van. I think "Riding in a van" should have been the title of this movie by the way. The extreme close-ups reminded me of my 7 year old nephew holding onto the camcorder and zooming close up into people’s noses and inside their ears. Can someone that enjoyed this movie explain to me what I am not getting? Most documentaries I watch are filmed far better than this. Actually most youtube videos are recorded with higher quality than this. Why does the camera always have to be shaking? Vincent Gallo has something wrong with him, right? His speech is weird and he always looks dirty, even more so when he gets out of the shower. I think Vincent Gallo is just trying to see how far he can take something like this. It seems like he is trying to see how badly he can make a film that people will still watch."

"This was such an awful, awful film. I'm not trying to be mean, it's just the truth...This movie is controversial because there's a blowjob at the end. You can see Vincent Gallo's meat, full on, going into the chicks mouth for a good 8 min or so. If that's why you're getting it, get porn instead. Porn has better camera work and probably more of a plot. As an example of the bad camera work (and editing): There were several shots, sometimes lasting as long as 5 - 9 minutes, where the camera was trained, close-up, on Gallo’s ear and jaw. Or his blurry, greasy hair, all out of focus, as he stuck his head repeatedly in front of the camera while driving. Not to mention the endless shots of the road through a bug-splattered windshield. There's no musical score to really speak of either -- not something I normally quibble over, as some of my favorite movies don't have scores -- but the long stretches of monotonous, painful silence, broken only by eye-gouging camera work is eegh. Not a way to spend an evening. Also, the sound seemed to be off -- I suppose since he apparently couldn't find proper camera talent, he's not connected (or couldn't do the research/ be bothered to learn) to a decent sound crew. Whatever it is, the little bit of dialogue there is almost disappears -- it's just whispers and mumbles. Indistinguishable. The whole thing is a painful, stupid waste of time and space."

"this movie is so bad and the only part worthwhile for me was the cock sucking scene. he has a beautiful dick but if he is a good actor you would never know it from this film. maybe he did too much: editing, writing, directing, "acting" and even some camera work. A vanity project if ever there was one, including showing everyone his gorgeous big dick."

"Oh my god is this chock full of suck (no pun intended on Chloe's artistic hoovering). This made me thankful for many things, mostly the fast forward on the remote. Best performance turned in by the old guy Bud used to live next to. Watch it just for that. I used to think Pirates 3 was worst movie ever made. Brown Bunny makes Pirates 3 look like Citizen Kane."

"'The Brown Thing in the Toilet' Credits open with Gallo as writer, director, editor, producer, and obviously actor. He was horrendous at all of them."

"[spoiler aleart]THIS MOVIE IS T.D.US...brown bunny makes blair witch look like citizen kane[im not joking]...a full hour of driving and washing his face in the sink[at least 3 times]...chloe sevigny was great in a really good indy called trees lounge...what happened...i hit ff more than once...instead of watching this,shoot yourself in the foot...it will be less painful...or maybe im missing somthing?vincent gallo,you owe me 92 min minus f f time"

"The Brown Bunny is one of the worst independent films that Vincent Gallo directed this strange movie. The scenes are too boring to watch,because we see that the character keeps driving around all the way to the road and nothing with the plot that he's going at the same subplot that he was no explanation of the story. The characters had no speaking louding in the audience and we try to figure it out what they saying. Chloe Sevigny just arrived and started to see sex scene,but very graphic (that it looks like a porn or a sex scandal in this movie). I give it horrible,but amazing horrible film that Gallo did this horrible film that he shows in Cannes and I agree with Roger Ebert that he gave three stars up for saying "amazing horrible film". But it's just a horrible indpendent adult film."

"The best part of this movie is, of course, the blow job scene. So, I'll just review it. 4 stars. Nioe dick. Sexy smack talk. But no visible cum shot. Vincent Gallo should make porn, not movies."

"Slow-moving. Ponderous. Self-indulgent. Uncompelling. Awful. Boring. This might have worked as a short. The fact that the last 3 minutes have some hint of plot and purpose don't make up for the 90 before that. This was at Cannes?!? Rejected Film Festival entrants everywhere, there is hope even for your most ghastly creations! Did I mention it was boirng?"

"Hands down, one of the worst movies I've ever had the misfortune to see. In fact, this is one of those movies that just makes me mad--it is tedious, aloof and self-centered, but never tragic. The only people who could like this film are those who enjoy watching paint dry. I think Mr. Gallo owes me $3.99 for the rental. (Why is there no zero star rating?"

"After the 65,464 minute opening of a man in the distant riding a motorbike, the story very slowly started to unfold. To what it was unfolding I still don't know. It appears to be a story about a man who travels around making out with various women and then the women cry. Then he stops into a "pet store" to buy a rabbit. This "pet store" looks like some dude's apartment with rabbit cages scattered about. I guessing it's some sort of black markant rabbit store. Then there's the infamous sex scene which is about the most interesting part of the film because...well just because. And then there's a twist ending most suited for an R.L. Stine's Goosebumps book and the credits roll."

"This movie was incredibly boring. I kept watching the movie and hoping it would pick up in pace. The sad characters and story line may increase sales of Prozac."

"And he's driving...and he's driving...and he sees a complete stranger at a rest stop (Cheryl Tiegs) and begins caressing her face and hair and kissing her and she doesn't seem to mind even though it's clear they've never seen each other before...and he's driving...and he's driving...and...well, you get the picture. After all the time waiting for the controversial fellatio scene, the least Gallo could have done was have the decency to provide a money shot. I could mount a video camera on the dash of my car, drive to Vegas, pay a hooker 20 bucks while pretending she's an old girlfriend and make the same movie for less money. Oh wait...Gallo is practically the only member of the crew, and boy is it ever apparent. Hmmm...making a movie seems like a lot of hoops to jump through for a BJ. Do yourself a favor....don't bother."

"This movie was a blow job, literally. I imagine that the very graphic oral sex scene near the end generated enough controversy to pique the curiosity of many viewers. Had this film been submitted for a rating by the MPAA, this scene probably would have mandated an X rating. Without said full-on fellatio, the film could have received a BS rating for Boring and Slow. While cinemaphiles and artsy types may appreciate the stylistic elements and possible meanings contained within the film, I'll bet the overwhelming majority of movie lovers found this "piece" to be indecipherable and, well, no fun. Art is a great thing, but when it becomes too abstract and intangible, it becomes meaningless."

"WTF!?!?!? WHERE DO I BEGIN? was this meant to be a travelogue? 45 of the 1st 59 minutes were shot through the front window of a van or showed ole unwashed himself sitting in the drivers seat, driving. ive seen more plot in home movies. hey sheep! this isnt introspective. its lack of an ability to write dialogue. and ladies? how many of u would let some unwashed creepy stranger just walk up to u and start touching u let alone making out with the smelly weirdo? credit needs to be given to gallo for not only finding idiots to finance this crap but to find a distributor. kudos! but your talents are wasted in the film industry.u should be selling bridges to tourists. oh,right i forgot the blowjob. even badly thought out,written,acted and filmed titalation couldnt save this film.it just made it that much worse. and as for gallo as an actor i felt no sympathy. i just wanted to smack him up side of his head everytime he started whining. Vincent, next time u make a film dont write it or direct or act in it. better yet dont make anymore films at all. find a new career path. just make sure it isnt anything involving small animals like bunnies. youre creepy and i fear for them. the bunnies from OF MICE AND MEN were safer."

"I only gave this one star because I can't give it zero stars. What a P.O.S of a film! You can't hear any dialog, it lulls you to sleep. It was the most pointless piece of crap. B.T.W , if you were getting this for the B.J scene, don't waste you time, even that sucked!!! (figuratively and literally!!) lol just whan you get this movie, just seal the envelope and get the next movie in your cue, don't waste you time with this crap!"

"My husband made it through about 37 minutes and gave up. I continued on and thought the last 20 minutes was worth the pain. It could've been a better movie with initial character/plot development and creative editing."

"How to enjoy this movie. Step 1 put in movie. Step 2 Fast forward 1 hour 22 minutes. Step 3 watch Oral scene for 8 minutes. That's it now you are free to talk with your friends about how great this movie was. How to re-enact this movie. Step 1 Buy a Motorcycle and a big Black Child molester Van. Step 2 Drive your Molester van from new york to California. Step 3 Act like a whinny b**ch, rub one out in a hotel room while thinking of dead Girlfriends. Step 4 now tell your buddies about it, I promise you they only wanna hear the last 8 minutes of your Journey. This Movie Sucked. Don't even think about it, just forget Vincent Gallo and his piece of S**t movie. the Brown Let Down."

"WHOA! just finished watching it. it felt as if days turned to weeks weeks turned to months. .you get it. a movie made by a narcissist for narcissists. not for the easily offended or squeamish. or for that matter the easily tired. 92 minutes of self indulgent meaningless crap. oh let's mournfully look out windows. do not i mean do not see this. controversial yes, but almost at the end. and controversial for vincent gallo to make such toilet fodor."

"because 0 stars is not an option. What little dialogue that was in the movie was either too quiet, poorly written, and usually both of the two. If you are seeing this for the bj scene, watch it on the internet. That is literally the only reason to watch this movie. This movie isn't even bad in a charming sense. it is long and dry and nearly pointless. it is better served as a narcoleptic than anything else."

"Okay we gave it one star because you had to give it something to write a review....we normally wouldn't write a review (not any particular reason, just don't)....... This is a waste of an hour and thirty two minutes, you will NEVER get back!!!! Ever people..........really ever!!! Okay, you get the point..... I am a huge HUGE fan of independent, minimal dialect films!! But this is ridiculous!! .......... Now lots of people watch to see Chloe Suvgny (sp) give Vincent Gallo.....fallatio (sp) you know what Im talking about ;-).... Don't be too hard on her....Vincent and her were dating for some time when they made that film... And she is a known method actor.... No difference than doing drugs or getting super drunk to fill the role properly.... I think that the so called "controversy" is from .......How in the the world did Vincent get someone to actually put that POS into a film... And sell it!!!!! Not the fillatio scene......... With all that said...... Don't watch it people..... Really you can see a good falltio scene in your own room or the x rated movies hiding under your son/husbands side of the bed lol.... Just kidding But really remember above....time you will never get back!!!! Also, don't judge either of them for this increadibly akward film!!! Check them out in another film, both really amazing Method actors!!!!! They just had a slight brain fart before filming this one... Have a good day not renting this film"

"wow! wow! wow! I cant really think of too much to say other than wow! Not a good wow, but a Holy mother of all that is sacred wow that was baaaad!! I love "Buffalo 66" One of my favorite movies. THIS ISNT anything remotely interesting. You could watch the opening and fast fwd to the last scene and you have the entire move and just saved an hour some ott time to go help needy children"

"It's as if Mr. Gallo smoked pot with the French new wave. Went on a road trip with Monte Hellman. And then meditated with Jodorowski at a Buddhist retreat. But he learned all the wrong lessons. This film is like watching water boil. Avoid."

"I'm not sure who told this guy he had any talent whatsoever. It really reminded me of a bad 70s porn flick in which they filled up the spaces between sex scenes with driving around. What would have made the film, the only appropriate resolution, would be if he had taken his van off a cliff as in the the scene from Harold & Maude, but with Gallo still in it...for real. C'mon, dude, the only solution for that kind of angst you were (trying to) exhibit is....SUICIDE! And, besides, you would have done us all a big favor."

"worst movie everrrr! I could piss out a better movie than this film. I would have turned it off if it weren't for the famous BJ scene."

"This movie is soooooooo bad, that I would prefer to watch my dog deficate than view this movie again. Pacing = slow. Cinematography = amatuer. Dialogue = sparingly sparce. Character development = painful. I honestly think this movie is what happens when a guy convinces an actress to perform oral sex by promising her she'll be in a movie, then he has to throw a movie together to avoid being sued!"

"Yes, I get it. Vincent Gallo is smarter than all of us. Here he shows us how introspective a man can be when he's had his heart broken and his spirit crushed. And, though I'm no Vincent Gallo, may I suggest that maybe filming an hour and a half of a therapy session would have been more productive for all of us, filmmaker included! Chloe Sevigny's talents are wasted here (while others are announced to the world) and Vincent Gallo is exposed as a masturbatory, self-indulgent a**hole. This is amateur hour. This is porn. It is definitely not art. It's crap!"

"Hipsters who claim to “get it” and say that they liked the movie. Maybe they should have been cast as Sevigny’s character!"

"Unless you like boring films with hardly any dialog, alot of long driving scenes, and then a big fellatio finale...then this isnt the movie for you! My mother actually got carsick from watching all the driving scenes!! Ha Ha not really, cuz we fast fowarded them. It had a plot at the end, but still not worth your time. My mother said that this was an hour and a half of her life that she will never get back! Here's an idea of what you will see in this film(i use that term loosely)...Mr. Gallo meeting women all with names of flowers. the most shocking... a VERY OLD looking Cheryl Tiegs!! OMG!! Once a famous, beautiful model....let me just say, that the years have not been kind to this woman. You will also see ALOT of sensless driving scenes which i think Gallo stretched out purposely, to make up for his lack of filmmaking ideas!! Then Chloe Sevigny shows up finally(his real life girlfriend at the time), and she gives him a blow-job!The end!! Yes, the oral scene was definitly real, and probably the only reason most people would wanna check out this movie!! It's just too bad that the rest of the movie was such a waste!! Thank you Mr. Gallo, for wasting our time!!"

"I have not rated this film yet, and to be honest, I haven't seen it... yet. I was a huge, huge fan of Buffalo 66, and was very excited years ago when I heard Gallo had a new movie on it's way. The only reason I have not seen it, well, because I heard about the end, watched the end with a friend on a computer, became disgusted with the idea one could consider this "acting". Try pretending to get a BJ, and then actually get one. Very different. Sadly, after reading all these reviews, it only sparked my curiosity more. The fact that there may very well be nothing redeemable about this film presents to me that it must be watched in a state of heavy depression in order to be enjoyed. If you don't watch it, which I haven't yet decided if I will, then at least enjoy reading all these reviews. The worst movie EVER created. Mission accomplished Mr. Gallo."

"The guys I went to see this with enjoyed it, but I thought it was horrible. The ending, I think tried to be sort of "The Sixth Sense" kind, or tried to. I also took it to be a comedy, but the guys told me that it wasn't supposed to be funny."

"Yeah, this movie sux! It's boring, no plot, virtually no acting, and tedious. I like Cloe as an actress, and like others, I can't belive she sgreed to servicing Vincent! I hope it was a prosthetic! lol Anyway, this movie is a waste of time, a vanity fair for the director. The only reason I can see anyone renting this is for the oral sex scene at the end. Shocking? Yes. However, it is not worth it. I still can't believe Cloe got talked in to doing that scene. Rent at your own risk."

"I didn't read any reviews before I rented this...MISTAKE! I ended up fast forwarding it with the captions on because I couldn't stand being forced to watch nothing. And seriously, there is NOTHING going on until the very end. And even that ends up being just self serving misogyny. I really liked Buffalo '66 so I'm kind of confused as to why this was such a let down. Maybe Vincent had a head injury? No, even that doesn't explain this...I kind of felt like barfing at the end because I was so disgusted in myself for renting it, sitting through it, and still getting fooled. The other reviews that say this is some sort of art masterpiece appear to simply not want to admit they didn't get it. But hey, don't worry--there's nothing to get."

"This movie has no plot whatsoever, the sound editing is terrible and what little dialog there is is hilariously bad and contributes nothing to the story. I'm not sure whether Bud is supposed to be coming to terms with homosexuality or something-- he drives around in a windowless black panel van for 85 minutes, meets random women and just when they start to warm up to him he abruptly ditches them. He gets Chloe Sevigny to swallow his salami after a dozen lines of dialog then he cries about it and the movie ends."

"I am always astounded at how people get money to make movies like this. It was a total and utter waste of time - literally. The oral scene at the end was more tease than substance, and now she will forever be know as the mainstream actress to give a BJ on screen in a HORRIBLE movie - what a legacy."

"After i just wrote a review for the worst MOvie EVER "Sideways" ...I had to go back and make sure that i tell you this MOVIE is 100 X worse than "Sideways" This is a waste of FLIM and about 75,197 other people's time and money I know that you will NOT like this Brown piece of S ..-1 *'s"

"Skip to the end so you can see the girl from "Big Love" gobble-gobble...then send it back for a better movie...is it really worth it? Probably not."

"Horrible movie.. Don't even waste your time trying to watch it with hopes that maybe possibly you will see something that everyone else who rated this movie low didnt see. This movie really is horrible. But if you do rent it just forward it to like the last 10 minutes and check out Chloes' Happy Ending BJ scene. Good job girlfriend.."

"This movie will cause great dispair. You will never get that 92 minutes back in your life. This movie was absolutely awful. Here is a play by play; 1. See Vincent's van. 2. See Vincent's head. 3. See Vincent drinking a soda. 4. Seeing Vincent's ugly girlfriend give him oral sex - PRICELESS. We have to agree with most of the reviewers here. This movie is downright cruddy with his pitiful artsy look and whatnot. Spare yourself the agony, run out and get yourself a scorching case of herpes. That in itself, is better than this film."

"Gallo is really just full of himself. He does whatever it takes to attract attention, cheap and lonely. I saw this on line for free and stopped 10 minutes in to it. Maybe I have some personal feelings against him or Gallo really is just an a&&."

"DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!! This trash gives independent film a bad name. Vincent Gallo should be working as a mall security guard or the night shift at Taco Bell. His completely undeserved narcissism should be rewarded by never letting him near a camera again. I would rather sit through Gigli again as opposed to watching this mess."