Ils (Them) (2007)

Do not read unless you have seen this film.

I’m not sure if Sounds in the Dark is an official genre, or a sub genre of Horror/Suspense films, but I do know that no amount of visible monsters or killers can scare me the way sounds coming from an unknown source in the dark or empty, eerily-lit corridors can. That’s why I felt unparalleled anticipation when preparing to watch Ils.

The prologue had me jolting and was almost unbearably nerve-wracking - promising, other words. We meet the young French couple who live in an isolated manor up in the hills, and the manor itself provides one of the strongest contributions to the film: large empty spaces, pale wallpaper, able to seem cozy when all is well, and then dreadful when Things lurk around the corner. The film works great as long as the source of the footsteps, the flashlights, and the presence is shrouded in mystery. As long as it’s The Presence, it’s frightening.

It is inevitable that the invaders must be identified, and once it is clear that they are nothing more than boys wearing hoods, the statement that kept repeating itself in my head for the remainder of the film was, “This is so stupid.” Kids in hoods – that’s what it all comes to, kids who make animal noises and own flashlights. They also posses super powers: they can appear anywhere at any time without making the slightest sound, disappear a grown woman’s body silently, in a manner of seconds, gain access to locked doors, and survive being stabbed in the chest by fireplace pokers. They are also between the ages of 10 and 15 and have a lot of time on their hands.

I have no problem with horror films about home invaders but for the trailers and the ads to pull the wool over our eyes and turn something as banal as four murderous adolescents into Spectral Entities is pathetic, about as pathetic as hiding a story about crime-wary 21st century people building a 17th century Village in the woods under the guise of a supernatural thriller. It’s a cheap trick employed to hide the lameness of what's really going on.

In Funny Games, Michael Haneke tells you upfront: it’s two boys terrorizing a family, not ghouls, not Ringwraiths, not It, not Them. No room to be disappointed by the antagonists. That’s why The Blair Witch Project works – It is It is It, not hooligans with lock picks, not mischievous locals, not ghosts, not a killer hermit, but ?

Imagine if The Blair Witch Project had revealed any of those things to be the malevolent force that had been making you white with fear for the entire film. You’d be pissed. But I’m not going to take my anger towards Ils out on anybody else by flagrantly declaring to someone I know who is excited about watching it, “Yeah, kids in hoods. The End” - I’ll let them be profoundly disappointed on their own.


Grade: C-