The 2.5 Movies I Actually Want To See This Summer, Part 1: May

Over at the A.V. Club there is a feature which was posted recently titled Say Goodbye To The Blockbuster: The A.V. Club's Summer Movie Preview. It is divided into two parts, Part 1 being posted yesterday, and Part 2 being posted today. They are as indifferent to the Summer Movie Lineup as I am, which is hard to do, considering that I don't feel like seeing anything in theaters come Summer Movie Season. Most action movies bore me, even if the hero is wearing a nifty, elaborate superhero costume. Sex comedies are fine, but I'm not too keen on spending $15.99 on frivolity. Some people go see movies strictly because of frivolity, but I don't watch films merely to be entertained. I love entertainment as much as the next person but I'm usually only entertained if my mind is being engaged. Yeah, I'm one of those.

Anyway, so here's my lackadaisical analysis of the crap you'll be wasting your money on the next four months:

May 2

Iron Man



Looks aight, pretty aight I gotta say, mostly due to Robert Downey Jr. It puzzles me because if that level of smugness was coming from anybody else, I'd want to punch him in the face. Yet Downey's is humorous. Maybe it's the deadpan comic timing. Oh yeah, and Explosions!! Flying! WHOOOOOSSHHHH!!! Rocket packs!! I might be willing to put it on my Netflix queue come October.

May 9

Speed Racer



"Cool Beans"? No doubt Diablo Cody was responsible for inspiring that.

"Racing's the only thing I know how to do and I gotta do something." Well it's good that the very thing that must be done to save the day involves racing.

The ideal audience for this is people who like shiny things.

May 16

The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian



You didn't actually watch that whole thing, did you? If indifference were pennies, then I would have enough pennies to buy Peter Jackson a 30-acre Manor in the Netherlands. Thanks Mr. Jackson. Without your trail blazing, we would not have this, and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and The Spiderwick Chronicles, and The Bridge to Terabithia, and The Golden Compass, and the next 1,478,635,209 fantasy fiction novel movie adaptations.

May 23

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull



Well, I didn't feel the wave of nostalgia I was expecting, and don't share the sentiment of a guy over at the A.V. Club who posted that watching it made him feel like he was 14 again. Shia Lebouf doesn't help. His presence just hammers home the reminder that this new Indiana Jones is conforming to the 21st century. Indiana Jones doesn't conform to the 21st Century, the 21st Century conforms to Indiana Jones! Either way, I'll be seeing this out of obligation and fanboy hope. Please, please, please don't let me down, Steve.

May 30

Sex and the City: The Movie

I don't think I need to show a trailer for this. If you're a fan of the show, you'll see it. Otherwise, you don't care. Also, shoes.

The Strangers

There are two trailers, the long one and the Teaser. The Teaser is better, so I'll show that one.



Come on. This looks pretty good. Loved the slideshow of the houses with the Ink Spots' 1939 recording "If I Didn't Care." So creepy.

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